random
Sunday, July 16, 2006
last written on: 1:51 PM ♥
finally you tell me the truth
after a few days
we arnt the most dedicated batch anymore like i used to think
now i realise no one is actually concerned about eds
i used to think that you all were like me. going for practices to show that we arnt a slack cca. going for practices to improve and show others that we are capable of making achievements. going for practices to stop others from looking down on us.
fine, i was wrong. terribly wrong.
maybe its my fault. to think that my friends would accompany me and try to change other's perspective of eds. but they cant do that much. they have other commitments. im so sorry. i shouldnt have placed high hopes on you all. from now on i wont force you to come if you dont want to. im not going to call and ask and try to persuade you to come. cus you all dont want to and have reasons like [no one goes also what] its my fault. i make you go and i dont care abt the others.
finally i want to tell you all that i enjoy being with you and stuff. but tell me what you are thinking. dont go along with me cus i will be unhappy if you dont turn up for practices. dont go along with me cus im your friend.
it painful when your friends hurt you again. ive been through the pain more than i should have in primary school. im sure you bunch know what im referring to since i tell you everything. and what hurts me more than anything else is why you dont tell me what you are all thinking before hand and not like a few days later.
when the truth dawns upon me and i fl like such an idiot i got nothing to say.
sorry zona. i din know you told me the truth alr. i fl like an idiot now.
to end this off
you know i still love the 5 of you. i wont force you to do what you dont like to anymore. its my responsibility to get everyone and not just you to turn up for rehearsals and everything. i know im wrong. im sorry and i wont force you anymore
-the tears keep falling and wont stop cus this time you hurt me deep